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[He will in] spite of undesirable parents, to wend him to Amorica to quest a cashy job
My politics are leftist, with wild whips to the right, only to be later flung further to the left. I am pro-abortion rights, a lazy environmentalist, pro-drug legalization (if the government promises to regulate), pro-capital punishment, against any mixture of government and religion, and agree a lot more with Jesse Ventura than I ever expected (and you would, too, if you listened instead of looked at him). I'm a card-carrying member of the ACLU, Greenpeace, and am all for the Second Amendment even though the NRA is chock full o' dumb asses and I will never own a gun or give them money. The minimum wage should also be at least $10 an hour and if you disagree with me I will launch a wild ad hominem attack that will leave you weeping.
Here's an incoherent rant I typed up during the recent "Under God" Pledge of Allegiance fervor.
Hey hey! It's George W. Bush, Fortunate Son, dressed up like he's making up for the year he was AWOL from the National Guard during the Vietnam War. Here he seems to be shaking hands with Australian kiddie act The Wiggles. Here's a good summary of all the bogus things that made the photo op possible.
Ready.gov is an unintentionally hysterical website created by the Department of Homeland Security full of tips for surviving various forms of attacks. Those of you too lazy (or scared) to visit the site directly can view their suggestions here for biological, chemical, explosive, nuclear, and radiation events. Then, if so inclined, take a look at the funny captions I've made for some of the illustrations.
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Basically I see politics as a necessary balance between liberalism (hope for the future, desire for change, unchecked wanton social spending and libertinism) and conservatism (fear of change, dread of others, respect for traditions, restraint of government spending). Most often I feel liberalism doesn't get wild enough but I begrudingly see the value of conservatives holding annoying liberals in check.
Ideally conservatives should be about Federalism: allocating equal power to the local level and thereby promoting the individual's involvement. But the New Right's rapture over centralized authority, inspired by Baptist and Fundamentalist Faith, has wrecked all this and now successfully drives for centralized power: corporate/economic, military, political, and media.
Supposedly the principle of the Free Market determines the Very Best Way for most things, until the conservative-run business requires a bail-out or a quick escape: Enron, WorldCom, etcetera and the various failed business ventures of George W. and brother Neil. This has created a path to corporate and political cronyism. Democracy becomes a formalized dance meant only to distract people from the true controlling prerogative of material gain. Recent decisions by the FCC, corporate tax breaks, deficit spending, the writing of blank checks to friends, the pitiful settlement with Microsoft, the crass opportunism of working absurdly lucrative deals for friends as central aspects of the War on Terror, the No Child Left Behind Act which intends to decimate public education via bureaucracide, with a new educational industry taking its place, not beholden to any standards. Now things are well and truly fucked-up where conservatives now crave government intrusion and liberals want to keep the government out of nosing into everything.
Liberals: Government = Mother
Liberals see government as the agent for change. Government is the big equalizer intended to preserve freedoms and provide a standard of living for those who need help. This urge leads to a tendency to increase spending and wider government oversight.
Government is the generous teat for sustaining all and providing emotional comfort against forces that may attack our self-esteem or rights. Sometimes mother can be smothering in her protection and can block the approach of harsh truths to the detriment of the individual and wisdom of society. "Mom, why can't I find a decent job? Mean people say it's because I'm shiftless, dumb, and lazy." "Honey, don't listen to them. Just live at home until you figure things out."
Conservatives: Government = Father
Father needs to be kept away from our business, unless we get hurt, in which case we expect Pa to give us a soothing pat on the head for about three seconds, then something from his wallet, before he goes to kick ass. We don't like pa to spend more money on our siblings than he does on us.
Government is an intrusive force that needs to be held in check at all times, unless we can actually get father's power via the glamour of authority, then we get to kick ass against the abstract "Other" just because we can. It's like a teenager getting the keys to his father's car, which is better than the beater-car he drives to high school, and driving really fast on what he thinks is an open road. Circumstance decides whether he pulls into 7-11 in a flush of triumph, or wrecks the car and gets mangled.
More Political Aphorisms, Please!
- The bullied usually make for the most eager and capable bullies
- Identity is conflict: an entity will often define itself by what it is not
- Citizens, when given enough time, are sensible people and eventually come around to seeing the truth
- Zealotry often strikes against its own neuroses: the rage of Caliban at seeing his face in the mirror
Political Links for Lefties and Curious Righties
Cursor.org is an excellent website keeping tabs and following up on world, national, and media happenings and serves as a disturbing haven for put-upon thinkers.
An even better site is Media Whores Online. Guessing the identity of the person who puts the site together has become a bit of a parlor game among Washington D.C. pundits. It tasks itself with debunking and humiliating and writing screeds against political commentators and reporters.
Still pissed about the runner-up being designated as President? Here Gore Vidal analyzes a story from the New York Times purportedly about Al Gore losing the press-motivated recount in Florida, but shows how the story actually refutes itself and shows that Gore unquestionably won.
Did you know as Texas Govenor George W. Bush (along with other governors) declared a state-wide Jesus Day? Does Jesus really need another day of celebration: at this point either you "get" him or you don't. Jesus didn't help keep George W balanced on his Segway scooter, though.
Here's a fun article at The Daily Howler about Rush Limbaugh calling Tom Daschle a traitor, Daschle's limp retort, and the conservative outrage at Daschle's tepid response.
Arianna Huffington wrote a revealing August 2001 column about George W reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" every time he's engaged in a photo op with elementary students in a classroom or library. This tendency dates back to his days as Governor, and was even the book he read on September 11, 2001 as he received news about the first plane striking its target.
John Ashcroft asks to be anointed by oil every time he takes a sworn-in position (in the manner of King David), holds daily prayer meetings at the Department of Justice, and asks employees to sing patriotic songs he has written. Click here to read full story, and a link to Ashcroft performing the song!
Willamette Week, a Portland newspaper, recently published a succinct story about SUVs: the Hummer2 specifically, the people who drive them, and the people who hate them.
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